Author Archives: Gel

Dear Diary, Well fuck…I just said I was already over May…it’s the 7th literally 3 days later and my husband was laid off. His company did a 20% rif and he was impacted. The way it was done was terrible. He went to lunch and came back to a locked laptop. He pinged IT andContinue reading “Chapter 51”

Dear Diary, It’s been a wild week and it’s only Monday morning. I’m definitely in my feelings and it’s a whole whirlwind of emotions. Rationally I know none of this is in my control and there’s no point in feeling this way but on the other hand human emotions come through. Where do I beginContinue reading “Chapter 50”

Dear Diary, Ok ok it’s been almost 2 years since I’ve updated you. Health front everything is fab! I can’t believe in July I will be 5 years out! 5 years cancer free means cured!!! Let’s hope I get a clean bill of health in July. My mental health is also in a much betterContinue reading “Chapter 49”

Dear Diary, I think we have to stop meeting like this…it’s 3:10 am the day after Mother’s Day. I keep saying I’m exhausted but I truly am. The highlights since I last posted… I went back to work. I’m covering a maternity leave for the rest of the year…it’s not supporting a Chief like I’mContinue reading “Chapter 48”

Dear Diary, Surprise surprise it’s 4 am again and look who’s awake and blogging! This is the 2nd time this week (it’s Thursday morning) that I’m up at 4 am. One day I’ll get this normal sleep schedule down. After some reflection I realized that we as humans take what we read and try toContinue reading “Chapter 47”

Dear Diary, I have received an overwhelming response from my last post. I’m grateful for the outpouring of support. I want to make it very clear that I have no intention of committing suicide. This is more of a failure to thrive situation rather than be wanting to cause harm to myself. I’m not planningContinue reading “Chapter 46.5”

Dear Diary, It’s 4 am and I’m wide awake. Why? Why the hell am I awake again?! I’m literally so fucking tired. I’m tired of not sleeping like a normal person. I’m tired from life. Hell I’m tired of life. I’m tired from the constant anxiety. I’m tired of trying to get my shit together.Continue reading “Chapter 46”

Dear Diary, The 1st post of the year and the 1st in awhile. I took some time to read my older posts and all I can say is wow…the first few were so cathartic and the more recent ones were more or less the same thing. But honestly that’s how my life has been…more orContinue reading “Chapter 45”

Dear Diary, It’s been a few months and things have been much of the same but very different. I don’t know if that makes sense but it does to me… I’m still going through it mentally and emotionally. I think for me my anxiety & depression are hitting harder than usual. I stopped taking antidepressantsContinue reading “Chapter 44”

Dear Diary, 2 years ago I went to battle and successfully beat breast cancer. It hasn’t always been easy, quite frankly this has been the hardest 2 years of my life…I’ve had 3 major surgeries in 3 years when I thought it would be 1 and done. I didn’t know I would be 39 andContinue reading “2 Years Cancer Free”