Dear Diary,
Where do we begin? It’s been so long…
I guess we can start with one of the whoppers…Jimmy was laid off. I’m over here on disability and he was laid off…it’s all fine but holy shit was roooough. We’re both in the market for new jobs so if you know anyone looking for a c level ea or network engineer lmk!
I turned 39 this week. I am so incredibly grateful for everyone in my life. My support system is indispensable. From random gifs being texted, memes being dm’d, phone calls, special deliveries and just having support brings so much joy to my heart.
We celebrated my birthday with a pool party/Filipino street food theme. My Uncle John and I shared our fiesta because he’s usually in the Philippines during the dinner and this was the last of my 30’s. All of my favorite foods were shared! One of the highlights was my mom and aunts set up a halo halo bar…halo halo means mix mix. This is a dessert made with shaved ice, sweet beans, various jello flavors, ice cream, flan and evaporated milk. My mom shaved ice upon request and across the pool my dad and uncles grilled hot dogs and for a few minutes I was transported to the street market heading my mom call out for halo halo orders and my dad calling out for hot dog orders 😂. I made 4 separate desserts to share; my always requested buko pandan, cassava cake, melon drink and mini ube cheesecakes. It was so much fun getting together again. It wasn’t the same without Mo but he texted me on my birthday. On my actual birthday we went to Lazy Dog so Kimchi could come too followed by an amazing spa day.
This recovery is so much harder than any other I’ve had. Not so much pain wise …it did take awhile before my body felt better but mentally, hormonally and physically this shit is fucking hard! Real menopause is a bitch; I’m always hot, I’m moody, I’m uncomfortable and unmotivated. I’m on a new med called Effexor, it’s also an antidepressant but off label is used for hot flashes. I’m not really getting relief but whatever…I’ll try whatever I can. Since my cancer was estrogen positive I can’t have any to try to manage my symptoms. I’m also super hesitant to try herbal and otc meds because who knows how that will fuck with me…so what do I do? I just thug it out and deal.
I’ve been slowly wanting to replace and reorganize everything in my house. WANTING is the operative word here. I’ve been buying all the bins but haven’t quite made it to the actual organization part yet…one day though! My add is affecting my ocd and we’ll see which disorder will win.
In other news I’m thinking about making Gel’s Kitchen more than just a whenever I feel like baking. Everyone keeps telling me that I should sell my baked goods and I’m starting to think about it…I bake because I enjoy it and want to make people happy. I put all of my love and intentions into it which is why I don’t charge for my baked goods but if I have the talent why shouldn’t I try to monetize it? Idk I’m still struggling with this idea but at least it’s moving the needle ever so slightly.
Honestly life is just really boring right now….hopefully I’ll have something more interesting to share later….G
Gel's Sueso 