Dear Diary,
One year ago I had a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction!!!
One year ago I went into the OR with the highest of hopes and a whole lot of people praying and hoping for the best case scenario…clean margins, clean lymph nodes and no more cancer. It is safe to say that one year later I am thriving.
I went to see my plastic surgeons today and we did my final test for sensation and per my doctor’s words, I’m crushing it! My sensation numbers are almost close to my baseline and he’s very happy with my results. Because I did the fat grafting I’m actually 9 months post op and not 12 but even then I fall in the “excellent” range. You know I’m an overachiever and I had to make sure I scored better than anyone else at this same point and from the looks of my results I’m definitely doing better than others. Afterwards I went to see his wife and she’s also very happy with how I’m healing. Perhaps I’ll do another fat grafting because my boobs still flip but let’s give my body some time to recover.
The road to being cancer free for a year hasn’t always been easy. It’s been painful, emotionally, mentally and physically draining and I can honestly say I have given blood, sweat and tears for this second opportunity at life. Nobody told me recovery was going to be harder than treatment. This has by far been the hardest 12 months of my life.
I can’t even remember all of the wonderful and mundane things that have happened in a year but I do know that I am truly blessed. I’m fortunate to be able to have luxurious experiences such as a suite at Pebble Beach and enjoying the Ritz Carlton Kapalua…I’m definitely appreciative of those times but I also appreciate the normal day of waking up, cuddling with Kimchi, grabbing a coffee with my husband and going about our usual and boring day. Realistically there are more regular days than “special” ones but knowing what I’ve been through and knowing that life can be taken away so quickly is what makes me appreciate every day.
I told my doctor today that I am so appreciative that I can feel a hug. One of my favorite things in the whole world are hugs and the fact that I can feel pressure on my chest and have a life that’s as close to my old life as possible is amazing. Team Peled removed all of cancer, saved my nerves and allowed me to have this second chance. Dr. Sheh has dialed in my medication as much as possible to allow me to take 1 single pill to reduce the recurrence of cancer…he also made sure that my life was as close to normal and without his expertise I may have had unnecessary chemo or radiation. I am so thankful for my care team.
My husband always tells me I’m a G for doing what I did and making it to the other side. I know I made drastic changes that were probably overkill but idgaf! What’s done is done and I couldn’t imagine doing this any other way.
I have to take a quick second and say thank you to my husband. Jimmy you have been so supportive through this…appointments, drain management, dispensing meds around the clock, and dealing with all of my shit. Thank you for collecting and measuring my fluid output, wiping my ass when I couldn’t do it for myself, learning to sleep with a hoodie because I have the thermostat set to 50 degrees because I’m hot in the middle of January. Thank you for sleeping on the edge of a king sized bed and for not making me get rid of my giant pregnancy pillow…this pillow has been the best $41.31 Amazon purchase ever! Thank you for taking on all of Kimchi duty when I wasn’t able to. Thank you for every single sacrifice you made. I know I’m not an easy patient, I’m stubborn and independent…I drive you crazy and it takes a lot of restraint on your end to not tell me I’m a crazy bitch.
To celebrate my first year being cancer free James and I are going to one of my favorite restaurants. I actually need to start getting ready for that now but I just wanted to share that I’m so grateful. Grateful for my incredible support system…grateful for the opportunity to live a purposeful life. Grateful for every single breath…
Congratulations Angela! You fucking did it!!! G
Gel's Sueso 