Dear Diary,
I was about to go to bed and I checked my calendar for work tomorrow and realized it’s April 12th! It’s been exactly one year since I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
The time has gone by incredibly fast and I am blessed beyond measure! I knew going into this I would need to keep a couple things in perspective…remain positive and know this is temporary. I knew that I would need to figure it all out one step at a time and not overwhelm myself and to make decisions that I would be happy with for the long term.
In a year I have undergone so many appointments to get all my diagnostics, deciding on a care team and 2 surgeries. I am so proud of myself for take the time to research and make informed decisions. I can honestly say I do not regret anything. I am happy with my smaller foobs and although they flipped in the pocket for a little while that seems to have been resolved by the fat grafting surgery. I also decided not to pursue ivf to have a biological child…I’m still undecided on whether or not we even want a child or if we will have a child via surrogacy, adoption or even trying to carry a pregnancy myself (that last option is like 99.9% a hell naw though) and that’s ok. It’s too hard for me to think about that when I’m still trying to make sure I’m ok. I’m still trying to recover from my last surgery and I’m still going to a physical therapist. In this year I’ve also become an advocate for people to actually do breast and testicular exams early and regularly. I was very fortunate to have noticed my tumor right away and I was able to go straight into surgery without any adjuvant therapies.
This year would not have been possible without the love and support of so many people! It goes without saying my husband has been the real fuckin MVP! He’s been there next to me for every decision, has been my caretaker, taken on the majority of attending to Kimchi’s needs and has been a constant source of strength. My mommy, mom, grandma, brother have all been so helpful with everything I could think of. My sister is my own personal advice nurse, I think she’s seen my boobs more in the last 6 months than she’s ever seen them! My girl gang and our daily texts have kept me sane! Our crew…I don’t have the words to express what they mean to me…from babysitting Kimchi to helping me with that failed audition to making me feel like nothing ever happened with my body…I am just so thankful for them…and honestly I can’t not be grateful enough for my boss and coworkers. My company has been so incredibly supportive…I know everyone says they care about their employees but honestly we really do! I have never felt like I wasn’t being put first. I’ve been gone for so many appointments and out for almost 3 months from work and I was never made to feel bad about it. This year I have felt so much support from every area of my life and I don’t know how to express my gratitude.
I will say it again and again…I was very fortunate and I am blessed. I’m blessed to have the life, family, friends and career that I have. This life is definitely worth fighting for…G
Thank you for my healing. 🙏🏼
Gel's Sueso 