Dear Diary,
I made it through kick off. It was the craziest kick off I’ve ever been apart of and I have ptsd thinking about it. Like for real….I’ve never walked away from a work event and thought holy shit I made it out alive. I don’t even wanna think about next year!
Anyway I’m officially off from today until Monday, 3/28…I have my fat grafting surgery on Thursday and I have a bunch of stuff to do this week to prep for it. I still have to get into the mental head space for another surgery but today I’m going to get some Baby Ari time. I’ve missed her and I won’t be able to carry and cuddle her for a little bit of time afterwards.
So fat grafting…what is it really and how is it a thing? Basically it’s liposuction of my abdomen and then the fat is separated and harvested and then injected into my boobs. For the lipo we’re expecting 3 incisions…one in my belly button and 2 near my pubic bone. A lower gauge cannula is inserted and basically jabbing me inside to contour and suck out fat. Unfortunately since I’m not near my ideal weight and they can only remove up to 10 or so pounds of fat due to health and safety it won’t really look different. I’ll still be overweight and I’ll still look fat. I just won’t have the little pouch anymore. Then they will separate the fat and give me one incision in each areola and inject the fat to fill in the pocket and areas where there is some rippling. Fat grafting doesn’t always work and I have plenty of sites I can always try to do again…we can lipo my inner or outer thighs and my back. Honestly I say I have the ability to do this but I don’t think I will. I’m doing this because it’s still the same plan year and I might as well but the ripples don’t bother THAAAAAT much and the flipping is annoying but not dangerous to me or my health so I’m just going for aesthetics at this point. I know that I do well during surgery and heal really well but I don’t want to keep putting my body through this.
I’ll be out for approximately 3 weeks post op and I’ve been told it’s gonna be like I went to boot camp and my core is super sore. I’ve been to boot camp and it sucks! But I’ll have meds to help. My husband had better stay away because I’m not trying to laugh at all.
I can’t decide if more nervous now than before or if I was more nervous the last time. I feel like this is very routine and lipo is the most commonly done procedure but also has a good margin for error because it’s so routine. It’s like autopilot…for me it’s the equivalent to scheduling meetings…my bread and butter… I can knock it out and move on to something harder. I think one of the things that sticks with me are the stats on lipo gone wrong…again higher stats because it’s more common. But it’s like I’m tempting fate. Obviously I needed a chole because I was passing stones, I needed my tonsils removed because they always getting infected and were impeding my airway, and finally I had the mastectomy to remove and prevent cancer! There is no medical need to do this…I mean yes this flipping is considered a complication and not what a person should normally expect but is a well known “defect”. I know in about 15 years I’ll need to swap out my boobs again because that’s their “lifetime” but again that’s something that’s necessary.
Idk…I think I’m just in my feelings right now and I need to focus on the goal…boobs that I’m happy with.
I’m also really annoyed with the person doing my leave…homie cannot get his shit together. I gave notice in OCTOBER!!! It’s day 1 of my leave and it’s still not in our hr tool…sooo according to the tool I’m still working and not going on leave. I have a call with his boss today because this is so stupid. He finally gave me my packet on Wednesday after I asked several times and already submitted my shit based on my old paperwork. His boss is my peer and she knows he’s had issues in the past and he’s on the bubble. I was really trying to protect him by not involving her sooner but bruh…if you can’t get a LOA done for the SVP of HR’s EA done how do I know you’re not fucking over someone else? I have a direct line to his boss’ boss because he’s mine too! Idk…I feel bad but I don’t.
Ugh so many things to do and not enough time…I wish I could just sit here and write more but I should get a move on it and start my laundry…-G
Gel's Sueso 