Dear Diary,
It’s been about 3 weeks since I last checked in with you. Work hasn’t slowed down and it’s about to get even crazier…I say it all the time…I love my job and am a workaholic…I fully admit those truths but damn it would be nice to be chillin and not working again.
Last weekend we went to LA to spend time with a few of my cousins and it was EXACTLY what I needed. I haven’t seen them in person in years and it was so good spend time with them. We did what we always do, hang out, eat a ton, go to the casino and shop the outlets. We also got to meet our newest niece. Kimchi loved his cousin Zander. They were the exact same energy level which was perfect because they tired each other out.
I’m typing this as I lay in my bed and it feels like I haven’t slept in it for so long! 1. I don’t sleep much these days anyway and 2. Since I’ve been back to work I’ve had 2 work trips, plus last weekend in LA and on Wednesday I’m flying out again for work and I’ll be gone for another 10 days. I wish all of these were Marriott properties because this girl misses her status. Oh well…I’m just trying to soak up as much time with my boys before I go again.
I used to get an average of 6 hrs of sleep and now I’m lucky to get 4 each night. The Tamoxifen is getting me. I thought I was doing well but my body cannot regulate itself. It’s keeping me awake; I’m burning hot then freezing cold. Also I just can’t stay asleep. I wake up basically every hour or every other hour. I’ve always struggled with falling asleep but once I was asleep I would be dead to the world. Now I can’t fall asleep or stay asleep.
I felt so bad for Mama when she told me that insomnia was a constant thing for her. I feel her pain. Thankfully though my only side effects are hot flashes, insomnia and what appears to be more and more grey hair. I’ll always prefer to take this pill over having chemo or radiation but it’s so bad I asked my oncologist to change my dose. I’m hoping that a lower dose will be helpful.
It’s currently midnight and I know I should sleep because my 1st meeting starts at 7am. I also know I won’t fall asleep for at least an hour and then I’ll wake up hot/hungry/thirsty and then spend another hour trying to figure out how to sleep. I just need one good sleep and I’ll be happy…G
Gel's Sueso 