Dear Diary,
Today I woke up and had all this anxiety pent up in me. I have absolute confidence in my surgical team tomorrow but I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t feel some nerves. I let Kimchi out of his crate and gave him his morning pill wrapped in brie (yes I know he’s a bougie ass dog). Then he walked into my room and woke up his dad. All 3 of us were there in my bed hanging out. As I was petting him I started to cry. A tiny bit of fear came pushing its way to the surface and I wondered what if I never had the chance to cuddle with him again or what if I never felt him against my chest again. All of the what if’s reared their ugly little heads and occupied a good 5 mins of my precious time. I am very good at compartmentalizing things so I allowed it then put it back in a box then put it back on the shelf. Negativity will get me nowhere and positivity will give me the world. Afterwards I prepped all my meds, the drain log, the alcohol prep wipes and everything I needed. Then it was off to the city…
Today my sister and I met for a spa day. I got there first and had about 45 mins to myself. I used that time to sit in a zero gravity chair and nap. After my nap we went to the steam room followed by an 80 min massage. Spa days are my favorite days. A massage, a facial, anything that gives me some peace of mind away from a screen is my little slice of heaven. My massage therapist wasn’t my favorite because she was very rushed and didn’t give me that zen energy but honestly I’ve been so tired that I don’t care. I was focusing on savoring the moment. It will be a few months until I can get another massage for relaxation. I’ll probably get some lymphatic massages after surgery but I know those aren’t gonna be relaxing. I truly enjoyed some down time and the chance to recharge. If you’re ever wondering what I want as a gift, I want a gift card to Burke Willams! It’s my favorite spa, I would go daily if I had the budget.
I’m currently alone in my hotel room waiting for Jimmy to come. He had to make sure Kimchi was dropped off at the Patel’s and clean our house. I just wanna take a shower and go to sleep but I need to take a shower using antibacterial soap and it’s in my overnight bag, in my car about 30 min away….I’m also at like 5% battery but my charger is also in my bag…I think I should just end this by saying I’m so incredibly touched by everyone who reached out in advance of tomorrow’s surgery. Thank you all so much!!! I love you!!! G
Gel's Sueso 