Dear Diary,
I took the time to reread what I’ve written and although it doesn’t seem like it; I have definitely omitted and glossed over some parts. It’s not because those parts weren’t important but because I’m doing this a look back and not going day by day. Maybe one day I’ll get there but who has time for that?
I forgot to write about the part where I fired my 1st oncologist, the part where I met with 3 fertility doctors, the countless phone calls to insurance and scheduling dozens of tests and even more appointments. I literally have 2 laptops and 2 spiral notebooks at all times, one for work and one for my illness. There are times where I wish I had my own admin. If I’m being honest even I sometimes had a hard time keeping all of the appointments and tests in order and this is literally my fucking job! If I struggled idk how the others did it! Shout out to the ones who don’t spend 90% of their day working in a calendar and made it to their appointments and tests on time…that’s mad respect. I didn’t mention how the other conversations went when I told people about my diagnosis, I didn’t share my sadness that I won’t be able be a good dog mom or wife for a little while…there have been a million billion trillion zillion kajillion other things happening. Not a single detail has been glazed over in real life…but for the purposes of this recap of the last 4 months this is as good as it’s gonna get.
I’m excited for my birthday this year….Every July 4th the country celebrates with me. The last couple birthdays haven’t been super exciting but this year I’m sharing my story with the world…I’m hoping that it somehow moves people in a new way. I’m hoping that people are able to see that breast cancer screening shouldn’t just start at 40…are you fucking kidding me? How fucking big would my tumor have been if I waited for another 4 years?! I’m hoping that another patient reads this and finds strength and comfort. I’m hoping that I read this blog again in 1 year and can talk about all of the good things that happened. Once I find my flow again and start doing this on a regular cadence I’ll be sharing it all…until then…-G
Gel's Sueso 